"I give up" - Why Training with your Reactive Dog isn't working (and what to do when you feel like giving up)

If you have got a reactive dog, you already know the drill; walks are stressful, you're on the constant look out for triggers and every bark or lunge feels like a personal failure. You've tried training, maybe you've even worked with a trainer, and yet here you are- still reading our blog, still feeling stuck.

So why isn't the training working? and more importantly, what do you do when you feel like throwing in the towel? Let's have a look at that...

First off, if you HAVE worked with a trainer before or you HAVE gone on a deep dive into online dog training, have you really given it a go? Genuinely? This means allocating time every day to go out and practice, follow their advice, work on your homework, booked in regular sessions WITH THEM rather than few and far between? Have you filled in behaviour diaries for them, changed your walking habits and invested in some time at freedom fields to practice your training? To be honest...we go above and beyond when helping reactive dog owners so we want you to be making progress; which is why we swoop in and try to save the day with diet changes, training plans and check in with you to see if you're doing your homework...but I digress.

Sometimes, trainers and behaviourists aren't a good match and don't get me started on the utter rubbish you can find on the internet. So, you may have tried it all but it's still not working. This could mean that the training isn't addressing the actual cause of your dogs reactivity or not suiting your abilities and dogs personality. Like screaming into an empty void but the void is full of dogs barking.

Here's some other reasons why you might be feeling like giving it all up...

1. You're expecting too much too soon- We love our dogs and want quick fixes, but reactivity isn't fixed overnight and it certainly won't be changed if you aren't getting the training yourself. Of course we can train your dog and we even do residential behaviour training which gives an amazing head start to changing their behaviour problems but they live and walk with YOU. So we need to train YOU.

What to do about it: Celebrate small wins and cling onto them for dear life. Did you see a dog in the distance and your dog chose you instead of violence? Win. Was it only for 2 seconds? Win. Was it only for 2 seconds then your dog turned around and saw another dog right behind them and barked but still ignored the first dog for 2 seconds? Win.

2. Inconsistent practice- So everyone in the house walks the dog but you're all doing something different or nothing at all. Some days you go out specifically for a 30minute walk to tackle the training but the next day you're in a rush so you go the usual place where you encounter the usual mob of dogs in your neighbourhood. You and your partner like to do separate walks which means one rule for one, one rule for the other. Your dog is now left with inconsistent training, no clear picture on what to do and when and you're still feeling like reactivity is a giant thorn in your side.

What to do about it: Create a REALISTIC routine that everyone follows, you can do every day regardless of time and make the training your new walks. We want dogs to still be dogs and reactive dogs need downtime so book a freedom field or jump in the car and take them somewhere for a dog-free adventure some days! We will design a training plan just for you and your dog, your capabilities, schedule, home environment etc and other options for when you don't have time or brain space so that you CAN be consistent. And if you're not...well that's on you!

3. You're not addressing the root cause- If you have gone it alone (or have hired a trainer that isn't as experienced or knowledgeable as they said they are...) the root cause of your dog's behaviour may have been missed.

   What to do about it: We know dogs. We know causes and exasperators of behaviour. We know genetics. We ALWAYS look to find the root cause of your dog's behaviour and ensure you understand it too so that we can either a) change it for good or b) make peace with it. For example, if you've chosen a breed with a bloodline and breed that makes it suitable for work instead of cafes and dog parks, we will make sure you know from the get-go that training will only go so far for the life you are expecting out of them. We won't be sticking a prong collar on them or telling you to keep them shut away for hours on end just because they are the dog they were bred to be as opposed to the one you expected.

   Instead, find things they were BORN to be good at. This goes for dogs that behaviour is caused by fear, poor past experiences and other root causes too! Because we want to boost their confidence and what better way to boost a dogs confidence than letting them do what they are good at. You'll love this bonding experience too!

You feel like quitting. But stick with us for just a little longer...

Your mindset matters. You matter. If you are stressed out and frustrated, your dog eels it too. But let us just tell you this:

You are not failing. You just haven't uncovered the right plan yet.

You are NOT alone. We are here for you. And there is a reactive dog community that understands your struggles too.

You CAN do this. Even if it's a tiny step forward today (maybe even reading this blog)

Bottom Line?

Reactivity is TOUGH but it's not hopeless. Even if its a genetic thing, you CAN still train your dog to be the best version of themselves and have fun doing it. It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be consistent, compassionate and realistic. When you feel like giving up, as yourself these things; why did I get this dog? Why do I love this dog? Where would they be if they weren't with me?

You've got this. And if you need help? reach out to us. We are here for you.

-Laura & Rachel